Moody Sunday.

07.05.17

After my blog writing last night, there was a phone call on Scott’s phone – because I still didn’t have a phone. That J was throwing up at Mum’s place. He has been incredibly stressed and cranky lately and this is how he handles stress. By throwing up. He has been like this since he was a little boy and the thought of Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy would stress him out. He would throw up the week before any of these events (not the tooth fairy obviously). It was disgusting and traumatising for all of us. The year we told them that all of the gift givers are fake he didn’t throw up. Hence making me feel like a shit mother for putting him through so much stress and vomit for so long. He also didn’t talk to me for a couple of days for lying to him about Santa etc. Anyway he is stressed at the moment, was throwing up at mum’s, I had no phone and felt awful that I wasn’t there holding his hair back (so to speak). I spoke to mum, T and J on Scott’s phone Mum was fine and had it under control and knew it was stress, T was screaming in the background about how disgusting it was and J was moaning. I didn’t sleep all night after telling Mum I would come and get them and she replied – don’t be silly, he is fine.

I had to get up at 4.45am to get ready to go to work, Scott had already gone to work and I woke up in a mood. No sleep, wanted to see my kid and really no desire to go to work. Once there I snuck in the backdoor, after texting mum to find out about J- he was sleeping. As I already knew my allocation for the day I was relieved where I was in the department– at the back where I didn’t have to have direct contact with most people and could work on my own. My mood wasn’t great to be dealing with hundreds of people that day. Typical that I couldn’t face people that day, because I was rostered on with some of my favourite work friends and I just couldn’t do the rounds and chat. I sat at my desk and got through the day without offending anyone. I even lied to Scott about what time I had lunch, I didn’t want to have lunch with him and his mates, so I sat in the sun and ate my pork sandwich, with hospital coffee, no phone and read the Sunday paper. I had arranged to meet my bestie at her place after work and I was tired and cranky and was worried about the hour drive home afterwards.

I drove to West End in my mood. My bestie and I had went to the Montague Hotel at the end of her street, she shouted me a champagne and we chatted at a table for an hour and a half, the time flew and it felt like we had only talked for five minutes. I drove home feeling so much better for seeing my friend.

 

 

 

No photo for this one, I wasn’t using my phone and wasn’t in the mood.

Post 92

Good Morning

4.20am 3rd December 2016. I am writing this on my break at work, yes on nights again. I am up to post 92 and trying to finish this 100 days of writing as fast as I can.

Tonight has gone surprisingly quickly, I started at 11.00am and there has been a steady stream of work, coffee, toilet stops, chatting about well anything and everything. I have music going which isn’t really helping my pounding headache, but is keeping me awake. A bit like the flashing Santa lights directly in front of me. The children’s play room has been cordoned off and completely cleaned out and has been filled with a Christmas scene – there is a fire place with Santa on top, Christmas stockings hanging off the fire place, there is spray on paint around the windows and a red and silver decorated tree. It looks very festive. I will go home this morning and put up our tree with boy 2 and deck the house out with Christmas paraphernalia before I go to bed.

Looking out passed the Christmas decorations to the car park, the sun isn’t here yet, the day is just beginning darkness is gone and there is light. That would have to be one of the only good things about working through the night, seeing the sun rise and the beginning of a new day. Having said that, on my drive home from working in the dark, I do feel as though I have an axe in my forehead and my eyes feel like they are burning exactly like the time that I accidentally bleached them.

I have just made a terrible coffee that looks like dirty water and tastes bitter. I have a piece of lemon slice that I was offered from another staff member. That’s another thing about night duty – the food. Bench tops and desks are usually covered in Tupperware filled with baking, lollies, chips and dip.

Heat packs, the hot little reds bags are one of my favourite things on night duty. I usually have one down the front and back of my shirt. If I wear the right bra, I can even walk around and work with them attached to me.

Oh don’t get me started on when the day shift walk in. I love them, like really love them and honestly tell them that, as soon as I see there fresh, wide awake faces ready to take over from me so I can go home to bed. Nearly time for me to go home to bed know. – Good night. x

Day 55

Day 55.

We live outside of our local town, we are on an acre of land in a nice quiet street with neighbours that we don’t really see or hear. Further north is small farming areas mostly pineapples and strawberries when in season. We are only minutes from the Glass House Mountains as well. The daily school run takes me south of our home. The school boy 1 goes to is opposite the local public hospital – (the hospital that has a needle exchange vending machine at the front door), there is also the public primary and high school and a child care centre on the same block. The area where all of this is positioned has high density housing with mostly housing commission homes. That house very low socio economic families, most with little or no education. There are a lot of fast food outlets, and shopping centres that are full every day.  This area is well known for drugs, crime, and lots of social issues, the whole suburb has a bad reputation. Which is a shame as the area has a great library and art gallery, a University, my favourite little coffee shop – Double Brass, the markets on a Sunday are held at the show grounds, a Montessori school, and there is also the Queensland equestrian centre.

This morning when I was driving out of the school driveway a couple of teenagers dressed in the local public school uniform, walked across the drive way in front of my car. The girl was pregnant and the boy holding her hand was smoking. I wanted to yell out the car window, “your school is in the other direction, stop smoking, go to school and help your unborn kid out.” I didn’t of course.

I stopped in at the Woolies next door to the school and was nearly run over by a woman who is probably my age but 100 kilograms heavier. She was driving a motorised scooter and she was a hoon, loaded down with so much junk food it was actually kind of gross and would’ve been expensive.

 

End of day 55

Worked this afternoon and the area that I was working in resembled the Brisbane city watch house, drug addicts, arrest warrants, hand cuffs and prostitutes galore.

Had an argument with a nurse in the tea room when discussing a situation, and I said if I was out in a public place and a known IV drug user had overdosed on heroin and needed CPR, I would not offer to commence CPR until paramedics arrived on scene.

 

Day 37

Day 37.

 

Holidays are coming to an end. We went this morning to the barber for back to school haircuts, my boys are looking very sharp.

 

I had to work this afternoon, my husband worked this morning, and boy 1 was at a friend’s house, so boy 2 had to come to work with me. So that I could hand him over to his father. As we headed down the highway, and saw all the bumper to bumper traffic heading north to the coast, for the last weekend of school holidays and the scheduled long weekend. I said to boy 2 “you and dad are going to have a long drive home”. “Yes this isn’t an economical use of my school holiday hours Mum.  I told you that I should’ve stayed at home.”  I burst out laughing, who knew that my 11 year old could put a sentence like that together. Yes he had nagged me to stay home and or go next door and play the play station.

 

Work this afternoon was incredibly slow, we figured that everyone was sitting on the highway and not in our waiting room.  I worked with some of my favourite work friends today.  When you work shift work, you form some very close relationships. Some very interesting conversations are had on slow shifts.  On a night shift at 2.00am absolutely no subject is off limits.  When you are eating Sunday dinner, with the same people that you had Saturday night dinner with, you have dinner conversation like you would at home with family.  When you spend the whole Easter weekend working the same shifts, with the same people you form a strong bond.  When someone asks for a shift swap so they can go to an event for their child or go camping with friends, because they have had to say no every other time, there is no hesitation in swapping.

 

Don’t get me wrong it is not always smooth sailing. However, I am very lucky with the core group of people that I work majority of shifts with. So this afternoon in between our work, we laughed and chatted seamlessly, we are all up to date on each other’s families.  We know what everyone is doing for the weekend, we spoke of travel plans, investment properties, and we emailed ideas to one of my colleagues sons, on what to buy his godson for a gift all the way from New York. We mother lectured one of the young girls on her weekend away camping with a group of friends and boy that she likes.  We sent loving and healing thoughts to a friend with cancer. We oohhed and ahhhed over baby photos.  We sipped tea in between filing charts and letters. We walked each other to the carpark. We had a goodnight.

 

End of day 37

 

No traffic left on the highway.

 

Grateful to have healthy family and friends.

Day 30

Day 30.

Worked all day today, like alllllllll day. I got here at 6.15am for a 7.00am start,  the traffic was supposed to be dreadful because of railway closures, so I left home early and had a cuppa before work.

I have ended up with a 16 hour shift because of the amount of people on annual leave for the school holidays and we have no one to call in.  So I will take the overtime hours and the money.

 Even though I have been stuck inside a building where I can’t see outside, I have experienced some beautiful things today.  I packed an apple for my morning tea this morning (I don’t usually eat fruit, my husband usually force feeds it to me after he has cut it up.) Anyway, the crunchy, juicy, sweet pink lady apple was a delicious morning tea.

This afternoon, in the middle of a crazy, busy time with a line up of people in front of me, I glanced down at my phone to see that my husband had sent me a pretty picture of one of the roses from our garden. With a beatiful message with it.

The third beautiful thing that I experienced today was the sunset.  My lovely friend and colleague came back from her tea break, the place was crazy busy still but she kicked me out of my desk and told me to go outside and look at the sunset.  I know the look on my face, told her I thought she had gone crazy because of how busy we were. She demanded I get outside go for a walk and look at the sunset. So glad I did because the red, pink, apricot, orange, yellow, and blue was worthy of beautiful and elegant poetry.

End of day 30

Not the end yet, but need to get back to work .

And just realised that I have stuck at this challenge for one month.

 

Day 20

Day 20

Working where I work really shit me today. It wasn’t a busy day at all, but the people that I had to deal with today just pushed my buttons.  I walked out of working wanting to tell some of them not to think they are so entitled. I wanted to tell one particular person to be responsible for their own shit and that not everything can be fixed by someone else, and to make better bloody choices. (like don’t inject so much ice every day that you don’t know who the father of your kid is, because you don’t recall what happens most days. I mean for fucks sake).

I had big plans for when I got home today, because my husband took boy 1 to cricket training and then work and I had the house to myself until about 5.15pm. Only thing that I got done was 1 load of washing.  I made myself a cuppa and sat down to watch a TED talk.  I love TED, each and every talk that I have listened to, I have learnt something or been inspired or motivated.  Today I chose a talk about telling stories. Dave Isay this was the man presenting the TED talk and this blurb sucked me in:

Dave Isay opened the first StoryCorps booth in New York’s Grand Central Terminal in 2003 with the intention of creating a quiet place where a person could honor someone who mattered to them by listening to their story. Since then, StoryCorps has evolved into the single largest collection of human voices ever recorded. His TED Prize wish: to grow this digital archive of the collective wisdom of humanity. Hear his vision to take StoryCorps global — and how you can be a part of it by interviewing someone with the StoryCorps app.

This 21 minute talk had me glued to my chair. This is exactly what I am trying to do with my #mesistertribe.  Obviously I don’t have the resources to head to New York’s Grand Central Terminal, and chat to people. But I am having a ball interviewing and listening to awesome women and their stories. Can’t wait for Friday to publish my next interview. This talk was definitely a motivating talk for me. Some of the examples that he showed where raw, and honest and I was amazed at the information that people felt safe in sharing. These traits are also what I have noticed when I have been interviewing, I have felt honored and humbled and privileged with some of the information that has been shared with me. I so look forward to sharing more on the blog.

End of day 20.

I am finding taking a picture (selfie) a day for the feature photo for each blog post, as confronting and challenging as my writing challenge.

Looking forward to a big day tomorrow.