After my blog writing last night, there was a phone call on Scott’s phone – because I still didn’t have a phone. That J was throwing up at Mum’s place. He has been incredibly stressed and cranky lately and this is how he handles stress. By throwing up. He has been like this since he was a little boy and the thought of Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy would stress him out. He would throw up the week before any of these events (not the tooth fairy obviously). It was disgusting and traumatising for all of us. The year we told them that all of the gift givers are fake he didn’t throw up. Hence making me feel like a shit mother for putting him through so much stress and vomit for so long. He also didn’t talk to me for a couple of days for lying to him about Santa etc. Anyway he is stressed at the moment, was throwing up at mum’s, I had no phone and felt awful that I wasn’t there holding his hair back (so to speak). I spoke to mum, T and J on Scott’s phone Mum was fine and had it under control and knew it was stress, T was screaming in the background about how disgusting it was and J was moaning. I didn’t sleep all night after telling Mum I would come and get them and she replied – don’t be silly, he is fine.
I had to get up at 4.45am to get ready to go to work, Scott had already gone to work and I woke up in a mood. No sleep, wanted to see my kid and really no desire to go to work. Once there I snuck in the backdoor, after texting mum to find out about J- he was sleeping. As I already knew my allocation for the day I was relieved where I was in the department– at the back where I didn’t have to have direct contact with most people and could work on my own. My mood wasn’t great to be dealing with hundreds of people that day. Typical that I couldn’t face people that day, because I was rostered on with some of my favourite work friends and I just couldn’t do the rounds and chat. I sat at my desk and got through the day without offending anyone. I even lied to Scott about what time I had lunch, I didn’t want to have lunch with him and his mates, so I sat in the sun and ate my pork sandwich, with hospital coffee, no phone and read the Sunday paper. I had arranged to meet my bestie at her place after work and I was tired and cranky and was worried about the hour drive home afterwards.
I drove to West End in my mood. My bestie and I had went to the Montague Hotel at the end of her street, she shouted me a champagne and we chatted at a table for an hour and a half, the time flew and it felt like we had only talked for five minutes. I drove home feeling so much better for seeing my friend.
No photo for this one, I wasn’t using my phone and wasn’t in the mood.
My fingers are tired and sore today, and my heart and soul feel light. I have written 3 posts today for different blog sites, two I know will be published and one I have sent away hoping it will be published. I can’t post them on here but when they are published I will post links here so you can have a read. The first one was why I chose Montessori for the boys. The second was being a FIFO wife and how that impacted how I was able to work. The third one was: For November, write about a place in motherhood where time felt out of step or distorted. Or, when was time just right? Endlessly long days at home with toddlers, snippets of time with teenagers, too much, too fast, slow motion, memory, etc. I wrote about when boy 1 was four days old and I loved and hated him at the same time and how he grabbed my finger and looked in my eyes and melted my heart.
At The Gunshop café on Friday night my bestie gave me a book: 642 tiny things to write about. I have opened the book to a random page and the question that I have to write about is……………………
Write about the time you broke a bone.
The school that my boys go to have an end of year concert that is held on the last Thursday night before the September school holidays. In 2009 the school held the concert at one of the local public high schools. The school had a very well set out stage and seating area. We had taken our seats and my 4 year old decided that he absolutely had to go to the toilet. Off we went to the toilet after he made it very well known that he wanted me to take him to the toilet and not his father. We were walking out of the theatre and down 4 polished wooden steps, when my 4 year old knocked into me and my cute flats with the smooth sole slipped on the polished wood and I fell straight on my bum. I knew instantly that I had done some damage. No one helped me up and my 4 year old looked at me while holding his crotch as if to say, “Can you get off the ground before I pee myself”. When I got back to my seat, the thought of sitting down made me want to throw up, but there was nowhere to stand. I tried to tell my husband what had happened but the concert had already started and he couldn’t hear me. Of course my 4 year old wanted to sit on my lap. I tried several times to tell him to sit with his dad and was getting increasingly frustrated because I was in excruciating pain and felt nauseas. I eventually whispered yelled in my husband’s ear, “I think I have broken my ass.” Immediately after my boy had performed we left, so I could go home and get some pain relief. I ended up going to work a few days later when it was getting worse and not better and was x-rayed and yep broken coccyx – or broken ass as my family was now referring to my break. Seven years later and if I have walked a lot or have done lots of yoga my coccyx aches.
End of day 57
All my boys are home tonight, we have no training, or work. We are all having dinner together.
Have started reading a book called When In Rome: Chasing La Dolce Vita by Penelope Green
– will let you know what I think.