I am a woman.
I am a woman of 43 years of age. I am a wife and a mother of 2 boys. The wisdom of my 43 years has never been acknowledged by me, I have seen it as a burden or nothing at all, I have not integrated that wisdom into my cells, my womb, or the woman of this lifetime.
There has always been a feeling of never feeling like an adult, I have hidden my age and at times been embarrassed of my limited experience. Scott is my one and only – I was 17 and he was 19 we have grown, loved, grieved, fallen apart, and come back together in cycles that I have never recognised or acknowledged. Even to some extent financially. We have always worked; we have generally always been paid well and always been able to pay our bills. We have small savings, but I have never thought bigger or more or made bold choices to live a life that is one of taking radical steps and responsibility for the way that I live. I have always been embarrassed by my lack of education; I have not travelled extensively. BUT oh, the life lessons I have lived, the women that I have surrounded myself with, the mothering and the deep inner work that I have done is my story and my wisdom.
I am a woman
and as a woman I have deep intuitive knowledge. I have stayed and played in the role of girl long enough. A young girl questions, she has lots of questions for herself and no trust, she is forever seeking outside approval and acknowledgement. She hides behind her mother skirts so to speak and does not show up, because as a young girl why does she need to, when she has adults to take care of her and make decisions for her. Young girls explore and have limited experience, limited experience that is usually filtered through from family life. As a young girl there is always someone else to take care of life things, big life things, small life things.
I am a woman.
A woman of deep wisdom, experience, trial, celebration, grief, and motherhood. I am a woman. Women know who they are; they do not continually question themselves, their decisions, or their intuitive wisdom. Women make decisions and they stand by that decision with conviction, and they move in the direction that is required. Women trust in themselves and when life shows itself, a woman is resourceful and creative. When life is being life; in all of its depth and glory a woman does what needs to be done and cycles with it and knows she will be ok. A woman has boundaries she abides by. A woman makes decisions with the experience of a person who has lived, experienced, learnt and loved from the darkest depths of the night to the brightest days of happiness, she slows down decides with grace, confidence, kindness, and thoughtfulness and keeps going.
A woman shows up and is herself because deeply to her core she trusts herself, her wisdom and knowledge, her life experience. A woman knows where to find help, she knows who she trusts to surround her, a woman knows that surrender is an act of implicit trust and moves in the direction of the life she is her to have. A woman is passionate and strong, while soft and kind in upholding her values. A woman will ask valid questions of herself and others, voice her thoughts when necessary but will trust and not second guess herself.
A woman knows the sacred spaces, the sacred conversations learning and sharing of wisdom that comes from connections, conversations from other women. A woman has no need to gossip. A woman respects, listens and learns from other women in her sacred spaces. A woman is deeply creative, she is the ultimate creator. She understands cycles and how to flow with it and that she is in flow every single day. A woman knows the signs of her intuition, her body, and the messages she needs and when. A woman understands that the way she lives her life has ripple effect on all that surround her.
I am a woman.