I woke up feeling hung over, I did not sleep at all last night. I jad just published a blog post featuring my mum she was the first woman of #mesistertribe blog posts, I felt
happy with and proud of the writing (at the time). From the minute I hit the blue publish button, I was thinking that I needed to change it again for the 450th time. I had a thesaurus running around in my brain swapping words around in the post,
then I started restructuring sentences, I was at one point going to get my butt out of bed and delete the whole post. I tossed and turned, curled myself up in a ball, laid flat on my back, flipped on to my stomach. My husband approached me this
morning, while I was chugging coffee and said “your thinking kept me awake all bloody night, get ready we will go to the beach, before we go to work.”
So we went to the beach so they all could surf and I could be the sunbaking groupie on the beach. I sprawled on the beach enjoying the winter sun beating down on my pasty white legs.
I cheered my boy’s on with their surfing, I watched another father try and teach his extremely unenthusiastic boy to surf. I sent out “back off” vibes to the wet and sandy long haired dog running and jumping on unsuspecting victims sunbaking on the beach. At
one point I closed my eyes, concentrated on my breathing and listened to the pulsing sound of the waves.
” I will not check my phone to look at the reaction to the blog post”
” I should check my phone to look at the reaction to the blog post”.
” Relax. Concentrate on breathing and the waves”
” Have the boys got sunscreen on”
” Should of worn my bikinis instead of shorts and shirt”.
I eventually gave up on my poor attempt at meditating to the sound of the ocean. I couldn’t help myself, I looked at my phone, checked the blog post and had a couple of supportive
comments saying I written beautiful words about my Mum. I don’t have a huge number of followers, but I have an awesome following of engaged readers that take the time to read my writing, like and comment. This means a lot
to me and their comments this morning went a long way to shutting up the evil little devil – insecurity, that tap dances through my heart, belly and mind whenever I hit publish.
End of day 2:
Mum liked the blog post.
I worked in my usual department, so totally in my comfort zone. (unlike day 1)
My husband gifted me with a chocolate bar filled with jelly and popping candy.