Have you changed in the last 2 years?
I am not great with meeting new people or making new friends. This woman from school, was confident and persistent, I was insecure and resistant to our friendship. She showed me kindness, friendship and expressed genuine interest in what was going on in my life and pushed me to be open to new people and experiences. Honestly there has been sometimes when I have wanted to stamp my foot like a two year old and throw a tantrum, when she has made me do things that are out of my comfort zone. For example, come for a bbq she says, I gladly reply yes and look forward to going, because we have done this a couple of times and I genuinely from the depths of my heart have a fantastic, fun time with this chick. I arrive for the bbq to find that it is not the bbq that I thought it was going to be, and that there are numerous families from our school at the house. I sit in the car seriously contemplating if anyone has seen me yet and if I can sneak down the driveway and go home. I really don’t have the confidence to immerse myself in a backyard full of people that I don’t really know. However, I loathe the thought of disappointing my new friend, I take a deep breath and soldier on, I end up having a fun night and leave with a touch more confidence.
This is one small example of the way that this woman has forced me to grow, change and move out of my comfort zone. She gives me these little challenges that push my boundaries out. This woman, she challenges me, she pushes me and she makes me think differently, she questions me, she has confidence in me, she sees bigger things for me than I see for myself, she is thoughtful and kind and to use one of her words, she is “helpful”.
When I say helpful I don’t just mean helping a little old lady with her groceries, I am talking in a bigger sense. Watching how and what I speak about, being conscious of how I treat people and how I react to situations, being helpful in how I address conflict, (I am capable of holding a grudge until the end of time) I am working my way through the grudge holding and am having constructive conversations and relationships. I have changed immensely in the last two years, I have gone from working full-time in a job that had me stressed to the eye balls, to working two days a week, I am studying and working my way towards a degree (something I NEVER thought I would do, amazing what a bottle of wine will do. I will write another post about this). I am so much more confident in socialising, I am accepting of the role of Fly in – fly out wife. Thanks to this woman my heart and mind have broadened and I am trying with all my might to be more “helpful”.
In two years I have changed immeasurably and certainly not on my own. There is absolutely occasions when I have spent time with this woman that I question how I am helping her.
I hope that she knows how much I love her and value her friendship in my life and hope that in some small way I also being helpful to her.